I Have Loved The Stars Too Fondly To Be Fearful Of The Night

When I die, I hope to have absolutely nothing left in me. I'll stand at the gates and tell God that I have given the world all that I possibly could. That every talent, every thought, every word, and every bit of my soul was fully executed on this planet. I want to die exhausted from the glory of life, rather than fade out from a boring and unfulfilling state of existence.

However, I think sometimes I want so much out of life that I forget to appreciate the simple things. Taking some time to stop and smell the roses, in part, is what it means to give this world my soul. How can I give everything I have if I don't pay attention to what the world is giving me?

We need the roses. We need the rain. We need everything the world is giving us, because our planet is a stage. All the flowers , trees, oceans, and lakes set the scenes to enhance our lives.

The people are the supporting cast,  my life is the plot. And I am the director.

But I am also the superstar.

It is like that for each and every one of us, yet we don't often pay attention to our stories, or realize our superstar potential.

We have all the power in the world to control our lives, and we're all born with an inner superstar that needs to be set free. And the saddest part about life is that some of us never realize how amazing we truly are, and don't discover our superstardom until it's too late.

I just want to give God everything I have.

It all becomes more meaningful when I realize that my life is a performance, only there's no intermission. No rehearsal.

And I want to be a star, before it's my time to become one somewhere in the depths of the universe, and under the light of a moon I haven't met yet .

I love you all.

Xo

Free As My Hair

I’ve always wanted to go blonde.  All my life I’ve
dreamt of having long and luscious blonde locks

like Barbie, Sleeping Beauty, and Courtney Love (in that order). Lady Gaga preached to us about how we are as free as our hair, reminding us that our hair can be our liberation. There is no physical pain when it’s cut, and yet sometimes a dramatic haircut can be the equivalent of slicing out our heart. The connection to our hair can run deep, and it wasn’t until a few months ago in which I truly learned about that effervescent connection one has with their hair.  

I spontaneously made a hair appointment with my stylist, Jessie,  without any real idea as to what I wanted. I woke up that morning still unsure about what I was going to do; I just knew I wanted a change. I could feel it in my soul. I had been feeling this chaotic force within me. A force that unwaveringly controlled my every act of Vanity. Only I didn’t know what it was until I sat in the styling chair and began to explain what I wanted.

I wanted the dramatics. All blonde everywhere.  Give me that Gwen Stefani realness and make it so that I’m only one cigarette away from looking like a trashy piece of high class trash on planet sass. I was born with a constant need for theatrics; the more dramatic, eclectic, and sassy, the better. Although long black hair is what weird little girls are made of, my soul needed a change. My time pretending to be Cher was over (I know she went through a blonde phase, but that does not count!), and it was time to evolve into another version of my self. 

4 hours and countless rinses later and I finally got to see the masterpiece my lovely and talented stylist had worked so hard to achieve.

I was in absolute shock.

It’s everything I’ve ever imagined, but oh my God.

It was blonde.

As she blow dried my hair, the blonde got lighter and my heart beat got faster. She styled it perfectly, gave me some tips and product recommendations, and I was on my merry little way. I got in the car and looked in the rear view mirror, and that's when it hit me.

I was a different person.  And it terrified me. I was going to go grocery shopping before I drove home, but I was so afraid to show myself to the world, as I didn’t even recognize the person staring back at me.  As I drove out of the parking garage and on to the street, the adrenaline rushed all throughout my new blonde soul. I guess I wasn’t mentally prepared for the change, and oh was it a change.

In that moment, I realized that the hair on my head is as equally important as, say, my left arm. It’s function may not have the significance, but without it, I would have a difficult time functioning. My hair is a part of my soul. It’s the innovation and execution of how I envision myself, and the execution of one's being is something that we should never overlook.

I'm pretty sure going blonde is the exact equivalent of dying as Snow White and then being reincarnated as Tinkerbell. That sassy little fairy will die unless you clap for her, which is exactly what this hair color has done to me. At first I thought I was getting more attention from being blonde. But I've realized that I'm just demanding it a lot more, as confidence comes with being a fairy.

My prayer for all of you is to find your liberation through your style. Whether it's through your hair color, the clothes you wear, the tattoos on your body, or the shade of lipstick that best connects to the color of your soul. Freedom is found through self creation. We just have to be brave, and find the strength to live out our vision.

Thank you for listening.

Xo

G

Stornetta Lands

image via Press Democrat

In case you are unfamiliar with what has happened to my childhood home, read this: President Obama establishes Point Arena Stornetta Unit of California Coastal National Monument

Now that we are all on the same page, let me tell you a story.

I grew up on what is now the Stornetta Public Lands. This land is where I used to sing, dance, put on photo shoots with my barbie dolls, and dream about the world and all the wonder it held. Sometimes I wished I lived somewhere where I wouldn’t feel so alone; In a lively city where my neighbors were people, not cows. But the solitude of my youth allowed the magic of my imagination to eternally flourish, and for that I am forever grateful.

I know most of you see this land as a place of exquisite beauty in the physical sense, and I see that as well. But I mainly see my childhood. I see all the dreams, and hopes, and memories I had as a kid. When my family sold the land to the state in 2004, we moved the day after my 14th birthday. Even though I had longed for an upbringing in a big city, I was heartbroken to leave. The land was a platform that fed my creativity. It energized me, and forced me to dream as big as it was beautiful. Leaving just didn’t seem right.

With the Stornetta Public Lands becoming a national monument, my young heart that broke all those years ago can now find closure. To me, this signing by President Obama is not only sealing in the deal of timeless land preservation, it’s sealing in the dreams of my childhood, and for anyone who has ever felt alone in the world, where dreams are the only thing that can ignite the magic we all have within us.

Small pieces of my soul are sprinkled like glitter all over those thousands of acres, and they will forever continue to glisten.

This is the land that raised me, and I hope it inspires all of you in the same way it has inspired me. Keep it beautiful. 

x

Gina

My Heart Could Beat With Bricks And Strings

I have decided to return to the blog world, and with my return comes Lady Gaga talk. 

I shall save my complete adoration of Gaga for another blog post. All you need to know is that I worship this woman with every breath she takes, step she places, and planet she invades. She has helped me in every way possible find the inner strength in myself and I know for sure I wouldn’t be nearly as confident in myself if it wasn't for her. I will worship her for ALWAYS, and that is fact.

Her new album ATRPOP came out last month, and I really love the direction of her creativity. The ARTPOP era is definitely different from her previous work, yet there’s still that effervescent Gaga flare we know and love. I don’t think it’s fair to continually compare her to her past work, but it’s amazing to see her growth. In every sense of the word, she’s an artist. It’s wide open for interpretation, but ARTPOP is a representation of her life. As she stated in the music video for Marry The Night, many moons ago;

“When I look back on my life, it’s not that I don’t want to see things exactly as they happened, it’s just that I prefer to remember them in an artistic way.”

Artists see the world differently than those with confined imaginations and low levels of creativity.  The world is only two dimensional if you choose to see it that way. And with ARTPOP, the world, art, and life could mean ANYTHING.

Now, enjoy some of my favorite pictures from Gaga's ARTPOP era.

Find your freedom in your weirdness

There are two raves always hardcore raging in my mind. One is at Barbie's dream house, the other in the Addams family castle. 

It has become routine for me to describe myself using odd, yet fitting analogies, as I am a dark and gloomy rainbow.

Exorcism Barbie.

A Lisa Frank sticker on the back of a murder’s tombstone. 

My contradictory strangeness is really not strange though. I've spent my young life diving deep into my dark and glittered soul. I’m constantly burrowing into the depths of my soul, as well as filling the crevices with new and interesting parts of my being that I’ll explore in the future.

We all have parts of us that cannot be seen, felt, or understood until we tap into ourselves and accept whatever our souls hold. I may seem unusual at times, but that’s only because I spend a lot of time discovering myself in solitude, which brings up everything life has given me thus far.

It takes a long time to fully accept yourself and what your soul is made of. But you won’t be able to unless you travel through your inner workings and find both your deepest darkness and your brightest light. 

We’re all “weird”. Every single one of us has unique qualities, interests, and habits that should be embraced and if someone has a problem with the original and beautiful person you were born to be, they’re not worthy of you. Get rid of every single person in your life that doesn't allow you to fully be yourself, open your soul, and find your freedom.

xo

via tumblr

via pinterest

via pinterest

Liebster Award

The very lovely Maria D from Route:13 left me a comment saying that she had nominated me for a Liebster Award. Having no idea what that was, I checked out her previous blog post on the subject, did some googling, and found out what exactly this so-called award meant.

First off, "Liebster" is a German word which means sweetest, beloved, lovely, kind, cute, welcome etc. (you get the drift). The award has been around for a few years and is given to new bloggers with a following of 200 or less. It's a great way to acknowledge and get to know each other, and I'm always up for spreading spread the word about other blogs. 

I'm happy to be included in this viral blogging award and I hope you guys enjoy finding out more about my lavender minded self!

xo

 The rules are: 

1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves

2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you plus create 11 questions for the people you've tagged to answer.

3. Choose 11 bloggers to nominate and link them in your post.

4. Go to their page and tell them.

5. Remember, no tag backs!

11 Facts About Me

1) I have ranidaphobia

2) I grew up on a farm

3) I want a massive tattoo of either a mermaid or a fairy on my thigh

4) I often think about the fact that if one of my pre-historic ancestors were killed by a dinosaur, I wouldn't be here. And that makes me appreciate life so much more.

5) No one understands how genuinely devastated I am over that fact that I'm not the Queen of some random country.

6) I LOVE Lady Gaga

7) I'm part human / part cat / part mermaid

8) I want my future wedding to be on Halloween so that everyone feels it's socially acceptable to dress unusual.

9) I'm Italian-American

10) I wish I had a British accent

11) All of my creativity comes out at night

11 Questions 

1) What does your blog mean to you?

Writing is my main outlet of expression, and blogging is the best way for me to channel my inner voice. My blog is a look inside my mind. It's a reminded in that no matter what, I'll always be a writer. Even if I'm not doing it "professionally", it'll always be a part of me.

2)  What is your blog about?

When I first started this blog last Spring, it was for my media writing class. We all had to create a blog, choose a theme, and update every week. I was very strict with the fashion theme, but now I consider it more of a lifestyle blog/documentation of my life, thoughts, and interests. Of course I still stick with fashion, but it’s extended to include other things as well.

3) What are your blogging plans for 2013?

My main plan is to update more. After the class ended and I didn't *have* to update each week, it was difficult for me to find motivation. One of my goals is also to gain a larger audience of readers. Engaging with other bloggers is key, and something in which I need to make a major priority whenever I’m online.

4) If you could travel to one place right now, which would it be?

I'd go to Sicily and walk the land of my ancestors.

5) Do you prefer reading or watching movies?

Hmm... Depends on my mood. I definitely watch movies more than I read. But nothing stimulates the imagination more than a good book. 

6) Do you practice any sports?

I took all kinds of dance classes when I was in school. But now I try and jog for at least 20 minutes every day. Does that count?

7) What is your favorite quote?

“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night”-- from the poem "The old astronomer to his pupil" by Sarah Williams 

8) What is your favorite season and why?

I enjoy autumn. Nothing compares to the magic of Halloween weather.

9) What is your favorite book? 
Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk

10) What inspires you?

The Pacific Ocean, outer space, thrift stores, San Francisco, Lady Gaga, my cat, Audrey Kitching (forever my fav blogger), the peculiar dreams I have at night, and much, much more.

11) An advice to any blogger out there?

It’s the biggest cliché, but the most important thing is to Be Yourself. If you go about blogging with the intention of doing it how everyone else is, you’ll lose your originality. Let other blogs inspire you, but don't by view them as the standard for how blogging should be done. For example, I tend to write much longer posts than many of the other bloggers I follow, but writing's my thing and I'm not going to change for the purpose of blending in. Find your niche and run with it. Make your own rules (or lack of) and blog about what makes your heart sing.

11 Questions for the bloggers I've nominated

1) Why did you start blogging?

2) How would you describe your blog?

3) What are you goals for your blog?

4) Where do you see yourself and your blog in 5 years?

5) Favorite song?

6) Favorite movie?

7) How would you describe your style?

8) What is your dream job?

9) Favorite quote?

10) Favorite city and why?

 11) Advice for new bloggers?

Bloggers I've nominated

Look Ugly In A Photograph 

Kathastrophee 

Worry About It Laterr 

SPRFRK 

Rain Check For Timbuktu 

Haute Menot 

Prim Style 

Modern Maria Clara  

Hello Kiss Goodbye 

Tartally 

Rim's Daily 

New Year in Neverland

2012 was an interesting year for me. I graduated college, interned in San Francisco, and got rid of all the toxic people in my life.  I learned a lot about myself, and at the same time, realized I have a lot to learn. I kept myself busy up until the end, and now for the first time in my life, I have nothing set for the new year. School has consumed my whole life up until this point and I've always thought that freedom from school is what I've always wanted. However, I'm still struggling to find my freedom in the real world, as I'm desperately clinging to the juvenile question of "What do you want to be when you grow up."

But the truth is, I don't think I'll ever grow up. Of course I'll have more responsibilities to deal with and I'm certain I'll handle them maturely, but I won't grow up. Growing up is like letting one's youth go and I don't think I'll ever be ready to leave my youth. If there's anything I've come to learn about myself, it's that I struggle to find happiness. I need to savor the happiness in my life and not sacrifice it for anything. Letting go of my youth and trading it for a suit wearing, office working, corporate illusion of an adult would break my soul, no matter how much  success may come with that. 

God only know what's in store for me this year. 2012 left me with a better sense of knowing who I am and what I want out of life. I may not know exactly what I want to be doing in terms of a career, but I'm not afraid anymore. I understand the value of happiness, and won't settle for anything less than what I deserve. 

My wish for 2013 is simply to for myself, friends, and family to be happy, however that may come about.

After all this "I don't think I'll ever grow up talk", I think it's time for me to go watch Peter Pan and bask in the glory of my self proclaimed eternal youth and I suggest you all do the same.

x

x

x

x

And while I'm on it, some of my resolutions for 2013 are:

1) Find a job I enjoy

2) Get more organized

3) Go on more scandalous adventures

4) Wear more accessories (gotta relate it back to fashion)

5) Execute my creativity in innovative ways/disover new things rather than simply being stuck circling around the same interests

6) Take more risks

7) And of course, update this blog more

What are your new years resolutions?